Setting Sail into the Sunset

Okay, I will try never to take that long of a hiatus again, but sweet christ I cannot promise anything. I feel like there is an angry crowd of blog readers gathering outside my door. People are starting to get pissed off an insulted at my absence, and I took it as a compliment before - now I'm starting to get scared. So under hostage-like conditions I'll try to write something interesting. . . by the way, I AM sorry. I have been busy for f's sakes people! Willsy, I know that last blog comment was by you "anonymous", what's next? A letter made up of text cut out of news paper articles saying you'll give me back my first born if I blog something? Well I don't care, that is not my kid Willsy, not my kid.

Billy Jean is playing in my head now. . ."wo-woooh, wo-woooh"

Anyway the reason I will try never to have that kind of hiatus again is that it puts so much pressure on after! I'm sitting here going "fuck, what is it they like so much? what do they REALLY want? Why do they read this? If I write about what I've been up to will there be a rebel uprising, a coup on my blog with the new dictator being Willsy or Bob, or maybe even Frankie or Lindsay?" So I will just start writing, and likely this will be about nothing more than what I've been up to lately, and I hope that pacifies you (nice doggy, nice. . .niiiiice). After this I should hit my stride again and blog as normal.

So awhile back we had this friggin' party. You might have heard about it? We had about 40 people up in this humpty bumpty, and we pimped it real good. We had christmas lights, we had a cooler, we had a huge piece of rasticulate saying "porchclimbers" that will never be taken down. We had big lists of guests that they could sign when they came in, we had 72 wildcat stro

ng, and a few thousand mL of gin, vodka, not to mention the lemons making a drink with bloody attitude. Just look at the before and after of Pieper. We laughed, we cried, we drank drinks that had glowing things in them, it was fantastic. We thought the drinks were too weak but then we were hammered, literally while we were trying to figure out if the drinks were too weak. We had a quote board and the things people wrote were fantastic.

"That's not a unicorn, it's a horse with a sword, here to defend my hopes and dreams"

"Can I be your manservant?"

"no"

"I love Willsy" (don't know who wrote that)

"Are these porchclimbers strong enou- I'm drunk."

And drunk we were. At some point in the evening the crowd filtered out, hammered. We were in the zone. I think we might have been lone for an hour before we realised Derek, myself, Frankie, Lindsay and Graeme were the only people left. We were sitting there, ripped, staring at each other from the backs of our minds, wondering where everyone went. The party didn't stop there. Derek was on fire. He had the cooler in is arms, dropping it every so often, stumbling to pick it back up and hold it above him like it was the stanley cup and he was going to drink out of it. He sucked every last drop of lemony poison out of that thing, and that's when he went to town on the lemons. He sat there eating lemon after lemon, apparently trying to recoup some of the alcohol at the party that didn't make it into his system. I have 3 minutes of priceless video that I cannot share at the request of Frankie. We're worried about his political career and future mudslinging campaigns against him using this video as evidence, so sorry, no YouTube this time. But my god it's funny. He's got his head right inside that cooler, and when he pulls it out he looks at us defensively and barks "WHAT?" Like we have three heads. Then he tries to get my attention repeatedly as I'm in conversation with the girls, just so he can tell me how concentrated the lemons are. "These are probably concentrated! These are bitter! OW! (lemon rind hits him in the face) MARCUS! MARCUS! (licks fingers, looks around distractedly, back at the camera now) MARCUS! These are actual lemon rinds." Like he can't believe it. The video ends cutting him off as he's about to tell me he's parched. "I am parched." We died laughing. He said parched about 20 more times that night, it's a new word in our vocab now.

So after that I was off to TO for some camp partying. Kilmer is back from a year in Oz at teacher's college, and I was very excited to see him again. Kilmer, I love you. I am heading up to the Kilmer cottage on New Year's with Frankie and Derek to ring in the 07, and I am stoked for that. However, life right now is not unexciting. Normally when you bastards leave Guelph I'm sitting here staring at my parents, and they're staring at me. Then the questions start, the interrogation, the quibbling, the squabbling over details, the coversations about how hard it is to find a good thermostat for cheap on Ebay. The list goes on. I love my parents unconditionally, but I think I speak for everyone reading this when I say "I can only take so much."

Frankie and Lindsay moved in for a few days (hence the 5 of us left over after the party) after graduating, and we had a blast, even though I was busy in the lab from time to time. Now that has all passed, but the L-bomb as I like to call her has moved back in cause she has some mall hours over the holidays, so now I have a friend. We are a terrible influence on each other, it is a struggle to leave the house before 3 in the afternoon and can't watch less than 2 movies in a day. Also we can't stop talking about everything, and so I have to save my productive times for times when I'm alone like now. It may sound like I'm complaining but I'm not. It is possible my parents are a little jealous/sad that I would rather hang out here, but Lindsay doesn't tell me I should change my pants cause I've been wearing them for 3, 5 or 7 days, and she also doesn't complain if I don't want to get off the couch, in fact that's encouraged, what would you do?

Apparently there's a secret door in Derek's room that leads to a harbour, in which a large ship is moored. The ship is bound for the south coast of Africa to look for jewels, trade tea and coffee, and chart the rocky shores and high seas of the cape of good hope. Apparently we are about to get on that ship, and here we're waving goodbye to everyone at 103 for the last time. Or maybe we were just drunk and this picture merely suggests that. Either way the prospect is exciting.

PS the pictures aren't blurry cause of an effect of the camera. Everything was actually blurry that night, ask anyone who was there.

Happy New Year you magnificent bastards

Love Marcus