Who is Yank?: Character Profile

Well if you read back enough months (sometime shortly after the start of this blog) there is a "Who is Bob?" Entry? In that entry, if memory serves, I elucidated the nature of our multi-Bob system. Which involves two Robs calling each other by the same nickname, thereby nullifying their attempt to clarify who's who. Well the other Bob is Rob, Rob Orton, also known as Yank. I will start from the begnning:

When I was in high school my friend Chris James (a guy I worked with in a computer retail store in the mall, whole different blog entry) asked me if I wanted to be roommates should we both be accepted to the University of Guelph. I politely declined telling him how I cherished his friendship and how I thought we shouldn't risk fucking that up, which I knew could happen easily in a year of living together. He conceded. We did, however get our first choice of residence. We both spent one of the funnest years of our lives in Johnston hall, south wing, third floor. Chris James was my neighbour. When I opened my door, I say his room. I was 319, I guess he was 320. One night at Compucentre Chris was all like: "Yo, my room mate is from Maine eh? Some American dude."

"Sweet." I replied.

Fast forward, summer has ended. Chris James moves in, I move in, Rob Orton from Dover-Foxcroft Maine moves in (and while we're on the subject, Lil' Jeff, my roommate moves in) He was Lil' Jeff cause we had 3 Jeffs, all of very distinct sizes, so you guessed it: Lil' Jeff, Big Jeff, Medium Jeff. The names stuck. We still call them Big, Lil' And Medium for short when we see them. I love that there's a guy I call Medium.

A mosquito just flew by my field of vision. . . WTF it's NOV 26. Or is it? (Refer to last blog entry)

Anyway, there are lots of people from our floor with nicknames, I would say a majority go by a name other than their own. Rob was from the states, so we called him the Yankee, then just shortened it to Yank. He liked it, it grew and it stuck.

So Rob Orton and I hit it off.

We hit it off to the point that after going our separate ways in second year we decided in third and fourth to be housemates. Oh the stories.

The topics are endless. . .

First Year:

-Chris James gets his first girlfriend. Poor form: She's from our floor, AND he constantly locks Yank out of his own room so he can make out with her in there

-Yank's meal card money runs so low he goes on a Rice and Tang diet, which consists of eating rice and drinking tang. After a week or so of this malnutrition rears its ugly head and he changes his ways (Rob, elaborate on this, did you finally ask your parents for money?)

- Rob's foot odour gets to the point tha the decides to febreeze his feet. I was just waiting for the silhouettes of his feet to be burned into the carpet outside his door, just stencilled in from the concentration of the stuff like the shadow of an A-Bomb victim.

Second Year:

-Rob lives with the Trinis - the two guys on our floor from Trinidad, Brendan and Kyle, who we genuinely refer to as Trini

This is the only story you need to hear, it's self explanatory

Third Year:

-Youden (our third housemate, in trusty townhouse #2) Moves in, all hell breaks loose

Youden's ADD and destructive nature combine to make him smash bottles against a wall, set his stomach on fire with lighter fluid, fire spudguns inside the house, shoot paintballs inside the house out of slingshots, drink heavily and ride off really high things on his mountain bike, a pursuit we joined him in.

-We ski off the jumps in front of lambton - this in combination with our biking habits forms a small unit we like to call urban extremes I took some pictures then left it by the wayside, but the pics were cool

-I go to Maine for Reading Week for a ski vacation with Yank, his parents are awesome, I meet his friends and see where he grew up. This is where I conceive the idea of a book I will one day write entitled "Against All Odds, the Rob Orton Story"

-Spring I go back to Maine to work for an old dentist named Hap Garrish, who just wants to pay us for something, so we paint his whole compound by the lake a nice forest green, tear down some buildings, help build some new ones and do some hiking while we're down there

Fourth Year:

- Yank and I live with our RA, who smokes more weed than both of us combined (not too hard since we both hover around the zero mark on this)

- We meet Timmy our Vietnamese housemate as I always refer to him, though he's not really from there - he is the prototype of the modern timmy which we have grown to love

The two summers before this Yank worked at the camp I have been going to since i was 11. We had totally different jobs, but both had the time of our lives there. One summer Yank and I were both on senior boys staff, which was awesome, and got a taste of whitewater canoeing, which he loved, and the next summer I was a tripper, but there was still a day off or two in there. . .

- The following summer Yank leaves for 2 years. He has decided to serve the Peace Corps and make a change in his life. Rob is assigned to Costa Rica, where he is now, afte a year and a bit of service. This is the Yank/Rob that sometimes comments on this blog, and recently complained of 'being replaced' which I assured him was not possible.

Yank lives fast and hard, Yank lives on the edge, Yank speaks more spanish these days than he does English. Yank has been knocked out, robbed and cheated in Costa Rica, all on separate days. I miss Yank - and this is a small tribute to his former presence. Yank will be back soon I hope, he's been saving up a lot of vacation days and has been planning somewhat of a trip to Canada in the future with them so that would be pretty cool.

Rob was a Witch for Halloween one year. Rob loved it, and so did the rest of us.

Rob Loves Baseball, Pretty Girls, well hell, why rewrite this list when I can steal it from another website:

Rob Orton

Things I enjoy:

tropical fruit that isn't papaya

cold weather when it's supposed to be hot or hot weather when it's supposed to be cold

reading books that noone else has heard of

a good puke

feeling foreign

horoscopes

posters with inspirational quotes

baseball

riding on the bus when i am hungover

So yeah, I think I've said my piece - Rob, I miss you, you're irreplaceable, come home soon after you show those Ticos how the Yank does it. . .before this sounds like a eulogy I am going to sign off.

Peace.