Alcohol? YOU are a bitch.

So Friday night the alcohol bomb went off in our house. Our neighbours, Jay and Michelle, were over, my girlfriend Alaina was over, and Ryan, a friend of ours. Somehow it was unanimously decided that this was the night to go to the LCBO and buy various liquors and make mint julips, the most awful drink ever. Google them if you want, but know we used whiskey instead of bourbon and the mint leaves kept getting all up in our grill when we sipped, like dead leaves plastered to a storm drain. So we switched to whiskey sours. Naturally the next day we woke up hung over, and by evening I had my nerve back. My good buddy Rob Davies (henceforth known as Bob) came over, and Timmy my ex housemate picked us up and we went to some kegger at www.3homevip.com (yeah they have a website). I enjoyed the random run ins with various camp folk. So here I am, hung over again. One thought in my mind. Alcohol, YOU are a bitch. Will and I discussed it, and he went on an eloquent harangue, drawing out a 5 minute analogy between alcohol and a pesky girlfriend. I told him that alcohol and I got along great this weekend, but I didn't think I was going to call her back for a little while. Will: "Yeah man, you never know with alcohol, she can be such a bitch you know? Like you take her out, you show her a good time, you spend all this money on her, and then the next day she just bitches and yells at you all day. It's just not worth it you know? Like one year we actually broke up for the whole summer. The next year she just kept calling and calling me, and finally I was like FINE - alright. I will give this another shot. But it just wasn't the same you know? It sort of lost its innocence after the first break up."
I know what he means. Most of us have this one night stand relationship with alcohol. Some of us who are unfortunate enough are going steady with alcohol, and still others are married completely to it. It is these unfortunate souls who need to go to meetings just to handle the divorce. The problem is, alcohol is immortal, and is NOT good with restraining orders. God help you if you have kids and she has custody.