What the Monkey is an "Ardeche" anyway?

This is how I feel right now. Like this guy. Alright I want everybody who reads this stupid thing right now to post a comment, I mean EVERYONE, if you are reading this, post right now and guess what his nickname is. Alaina and I named everyone who stood out in one way or another on our trip. Respect goes to the winner.

Anyway, this poor man, with his massive abdominal swelling, is staring out across the endless Atlantic with his fingers distressedly running through his hair. He gazes to the horizon, thousand yard stare stare in his eyes, wondering "how did it come to this?". As though the task of crossing the sea without so much as a vessel to contain him is his sole duty, a duty he is sure may take his life. Maybe he will feel more confident after thinking a bit about buoyancy.

Or maybe he was just a European vacationer who I happened to catch at the right moment. Maybe he had a tan and was looking over the blue ocean, whose colour I stole, and was enjoying the warm water around his ankles.

Probably not.

Either way, that is how I feel. It's funny, I've travelled to other countries before, but somehow I feel like I would rather go somewhere less developed, or really foreign with the mission of travelling the country by a means of public transit. I think when I see a bus packed full of people with goats and chickens, and I stand out as the only tourist, it's easier for me to try to get on it because they can tell I'm new. Or a n00b, as we like to say in l33t sp33k. When they see the n00b, they think, oh, he's new, he won't know how the train works. And he doesn't speak spanish/russian/mongolian/indian/thai, so he won't know how to ride this train, and they're right. When I go to france, at first glance, despite all my luggage, I could be from any surrounding country, so naturally I'm expected to know how the facilities work. Also I'm expected to speak French. Wrong on both counts. I come from Canada, where a lot of us don't speak french (sad, I KNOW), and we certainly aren't used to any organized form of public (let a lone high-speed) transit. So at the risk of pre-judging, they're going to treat me like an idiot cause I should know how to ride the train and where to go, etc. Anyway, this is all senseless worrying, since I haven't done all that much research yet, so no wonder I know nothing, but still. All I know is there are 3 places I could fly into, and 1 place I need to take the train to, then 2 I could take the bus to from there. Whichever I end up at, I call from and say "I'm here". Then they come get me. So it's time to start learning the geography of France. I think I prefer flying into Zurich or Geneva right now, since I speak German, and they speak English there, vs France where they almost certainly do not. Plus it's closer to the Ardeche, where I am supposed to get to.

Now there's the issue of Ann. Who I emailed excitedly with a proposition which I now may regret. I asked her if she wanted to meet up or what her plans are, cause I thought it would be fun (which I'm sure it will be) but her African internet uses smoke signals and I think the fire went out, so she couldn't write much other than "Don't do anything yet, I will email you more later." So hopefully this doesn't mean me waiting for tix that are expensive. . . she also said something about her having a ticked to Heathrow, which is the hub for flights out of Africa so I guess that's where she has to connect from wherever. . . so she's thinknig of flying into Nyon. . . time to get the atlas out.

If anyone's been to France, give me some advice.


Now go guess this dude's nickname.