Bullets: to dodge or to bite?

Sometimes probability works out of your favour, like when this human got hit with a torpedo. . . actually this was taken in france when we shot torpedos at our campers. Actually this was taken in france when we sent the kids screaming down a gravel bank to a fast, watery fate. This kid got owned in the face with water. When the smoke cleared all that was left was actually those legs, from the knees down, with the sandals still on them. Strange things happen at 500 kph.

So the school is closed for the second day in a row. I don't know if this has ever happened! I wasn't that excited about the snow day though. Yesterday Pieper bit the bullet. He was sitting in his office, bored, wanting to leave (especially since the school was closed). He was so excited to leave when he saw the bus pull in, thinking "I won't have to walk in this perma-white out!" that he ran out, leaving his keys in the office. Nice. See normally that's not a big deal, but since the school was closed there was no one around to actually get him back in. So he had to run to catch the bus in lieu of looking like a moron walking home in the cold with no keys. Owned.

I have been working on a poster for a symposium at 8:30 tomorrow morning (yikes). It was finally done today. The deal was that I had to get it printed in OVC here at the school, since my prof would foot the bill there at a discount price. If I got it anywhere else my supervisor had to pay. Okay. . . So when I woke up today, just as I suspected, school was closed. I quickly realised that I would be the only grad student paying for his own poster just to get marks, since closed school means no staff, which means no poster printing. Also, if you read the previous entry, you know that I am in the unique situation of not having a supervisor. Anyway, I got to dodge the bullet. My prof bonked some heads and got the printing eggheads to come into work today and take care of that shit. So I emailed my files, let's hope they print okay and that there are no glaring discrepancies. This morning when I woke up everything was covered with about 2 cm of ice, so that's why the school was closed. . .again. After that melted it started snowing, and now we're back to the old once a day heavy snow fall. Can't complain, at least it's being winter right. Cold without snow is vain. Also the day of reckoning (meeting with the dept. head) has been moved to monday 4:30, so that is when I will find out what the F I am doing with the next year and a half of life. In the interim of being locked up in this house, snow outside, the gym closed and up to my ankles in ennui (look that one up) I have taken to living vicariously through others. Colin has a fantastic story on his blog about ambushing the ecuadorian army with waterballoons - I shit you not (his blog is linked from mine, top right) Scroll down two or so entries to "Ecuador Declares War on Canada!". Also my friend Katie who is in Africa right now working in a remote Maasai village has just written an invigorating entry on having your life views turned upside down. What a fulfilling experience. . . Africa is on the list. Check the entry out here, even if you don't know Katie it's worth it. http://www.planetranger.com/andreaktq/

Thanks for the splash of colour KTQ.

So while I upload the last pic which may or may not appear due to funky dimensions I will tell you this tidbit of annoyance. Yesterday pieper and I were in here playing our guitars, helping each other procrastinate before our various responsibilities, and we look out the window to see some dude just pissing on the side of my car. Wow huh? One hand out, just leaning on it, pissing away. I stared in disbelief. "Is that guy pissing on my car?"

"looks like it?"

"fuckin cocksucker. . ."

I watched some more. He turned and noticed us and just saluted. If you have seen the movie Christmas Vacation you know what Randy Quaid looks like as he nonchalantly empties the content's of his RV's septic tank into a storm drain out on the street. Jovial, uncaring, oblivious to social etiquette in his long underwear with trapdoor and leather hat with earflaps. When the neighbour looks at him in disgust he lifts his can of beer in greeting and announces, "Shitter's full!"

That's what this guy looked like. All I could do was give him a thumbs up, when I wanted to give the finger. Several other scenarios played out in my head. I thought of going out there and pretending to piss on the other side of it, making fun of Golfs and VWs while I was at it. Then ending with a fake handshake turned suckerpunch. I also thought of less creative things like sticking my head out the door and saying "Hey pencildick! Go piss on someone else's car!"

Then there was the idea of shooting him with a fucking potato. The shock of that is enough to teach you a lesson if you don't expect it I think. . . So I bit the bullet, and none of these things happened, and the ultimate reason is that he was a drunk idiot who now knows where I live. Making enemies outside your front door = bad idea. He could throw a brick through my window every night for the rest of the year and I don't even know his name. Anyway the freezing rain got it so I'm not too worried, and being drunk as he was there is no trace of yellow snow. Yep, story checks out, it was a sugar piss. Fucking bastard.

Willsy, why do I feel like you will be laughing your ass off reading this? That's not very nice. . .

So remember folks, whether you're taking bullets or biting them, don't forget to save your game like Jesus would. Jesus saves! Everybody else takes damage.